I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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