i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
