Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
