and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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