I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
