Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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