I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
