you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
