he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
