Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
