I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
