wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
