It's like God shit irony all over that family
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
