You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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