she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
