"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Randomize
