its not stalking. its research.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
