Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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