Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
