Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
