Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i out mim tonsoeep
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