Quick, to the slutcave!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
