I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
