I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
