are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
