so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
