brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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