Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
