Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
