once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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