Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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