dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
