If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
