your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
