The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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