11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
