Its about making memories worth repressing
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
