bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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