Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
