Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
