Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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