BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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