I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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