Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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