My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
