thus making me awesome and them whores
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
