And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
