my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
