omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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