did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
