Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
